650 words

That’s how long my just published essay is. The publication story is brief: I sent the piece to Role Reboot on Monday, December 1st. I received an acceptance email on Wednesday the 3rd. Today, December 10th, the essay is up. The words from the editor, Meredith Landry, make me swoon:

  1. “This is a beautiful piece, and I’d love to publish it. I’ll email you the live link when it’s up. Thanks so much.”
  2. Subject: you’re up!
    “Would love your help sharing it on FB and Twitter. Thanks so much, Becky, and let me know if you have any other submissions you’d like to send my way. I like the way you write. Thanks!”
    “I like your style. Would love to see more.”

But as soon as I received the acceptance email I started feeling fearful…worried about how family would react–especially Sean. I got his approval to use his full name in the “Divorce Education” essay. I haven’t sent him this one because I know he’ll be angry and hurt. The editor changed my title from “Addicted” to “On Loving an Addict,” which I’m kind of okay with. I know it will get more readers this way. And yet it sensationalizes the piece a bit. The new title also freaked out my sister. I’d posted it on Twitter and, with lots of hesitation, on Facebook. A former student liked it…then Katy called me and described all of her fears–fears I’ve already lived for the last three years when I first started writing about addiction. What about my kids? The kids’ friends and parents? What about Sean and his family? His career? Wasn’t I putting all of that in jeopardy? All questions I’ve asked myself many times. She tapped into the well of fear that I thought I’d capped.

So I pulled the Twitter and Facebook posts and instead emailed Debra Monroe, BK Loren, the Taos Writers Conference, my siblings and parents, my bookgroup, and a few folks from work. I also sent the essay to my district’s Alanews. And perhaps I’ll attend a meeting tonight.

About BJ

living the dream in northern Utah
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