blindsided

Struggling to process this new information…when the kids got back from a birthday dinner for Sean, they announced that he was getting married. To Brooke. Last I’d heard they’d split up. They’d tried living with each other around Christmas but it didn’t work out. Now the news that they’re engaged.

What am I thinking? 1. That marriage was never something Sean was keen to do with me. I basically talked him into it. Talked him into everything we did: moving in together, getting married, having babies. 2. That I’ve always been just a little bit sad that he didn’t propose to me. I wanted someone to ask me, to say that they wanted me. No one ever has. So maybe not just a little bit sad. 3. That at last he’s moving on, and I’ll be free. It will change the way I think about myself and my place in the world. 4. That soon–when Jake turns 18 next year–I’ll be that much less dependent on him for financial support for the kids. In 2 1/2 years the child support will end. 5. That someone else is placing unrealistic expectations upon him, which probably won’t be met. 6. That I’m sad and will probably feel sad for awhile.

About BJ

living the dream in northern Utah
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