Now I’m back at work I’m determined to carve out time to continue my blogging –> essay writing. I’ve set aside Thursday afternoons but want to begin getting some ideas on the page so I don’t fall into staring at a page during those chunks of time. I’ve had a bunch of ideas but neglected to write them down…why do I carry around all those little notebooks if I don’t use them?
I read a disturbing yet fascinating essay on Full Grown People about same-sex domestic abuse: Never Say I Didn’t Bring You Flowers. My curiosity piqued by the author’s biography, I looked for information about her and her partner online and, since they were part of a lawsuit in Canada, found some. Plus photos. This got me wondering about the author’s decision to go public with her story. After publishing the piece everyone would know exactly who she’s writing about and would know that this well-known physician in Vancouver had abused her wife. Is she afraid of repercussions? What made her decide to reveal the truth? I guess I’m not there quite yet…still responding to my fear and the fear of others by not disseminating my own writing more widely.
But it also made me wonder if I could try (again) to write something about my “two years as a lesbian.” I kind of started but stalled out. Maybe time to re-boot that.
Fear might just be the next topic. It would connect both of the above. Fear of publishing, fear of telling secrets (my own and others), fear of failure. Begin with the “650 words” blog post then flash back to 1981 and work up through 1983 then forward to 2012? Dunno. But will start there.
Helpful essay: Today, I know I am worth of respect, friendship, and love