more on this later, when I have time
I started this post in July. Not sure why I felt I had so little time then, because I have even less now. Priorities? New medication to combat depression? As I recall I was pretty low in July.
Still, the fact remains that women writers have always struggled to find time to themselves to write. Right now, I’m writing at 6:23 a.m. when I really wish I was still sleeping. The time change helped me wake up early. That and the cat. So for the next week or two I’ll take advantage of my messed up sleeping schedule to arise early and write a few words.
But then what? When my body and cat adjust to the new schedule, when NaNoWriMo is over, will I continue? Surely part of the struggle is priorities. Because unlike some of the women Brigid Schulte writes about, I have a supportive family who would help protect my writing time if I simply asked. I think part of the dilemma for women is this ingrained sense of “neededness.” That is, we need to feel needed. As mothers, wives, bosses, daughters, aunts, colleagues…our relationships with others dominate our lives. So we drop whatever we’re doing to help someone else. I interrupt my grading to feed the cat; I shorten my writing time to check email; I pause my Netflix show to listen to my daughter; I stop reading to talk to my husband; I walk back from yoga with a colleague rather than enjoying the post-practice peace. Choices sure. Priorities yes. But also a culturally ingrained sense of needing to be there for others.
at someone’s beck and call – available to do things for another person whenever they want