I should feel sadder than I do. There seems to be something in the atmosphere this week, making people gloomy. I remember past Februaries when I felt much the same way: despondent, doomed, depressed, destined to live in a cold and cloudy world forever. Of course Randy died, and we’ve had a lot of sadness over that. And February is when Kissin’ Granny died too. But it’s also the month my babies were born, the month of love, the shortest month of the year, a month that includes a 3-day weekend, the month my mom and my Aunt Mary were born, the month for Winter Olympics, a month when spring makes its first showing with the blackbirds in the park. So this February I feel happier than I usually do. I like to think it’s because of my recovery work–my attention to my feelings rather than everyone else’s, my focus on me rather than others, and my emphasis on today rather than tomorrow or next week. This is new for me. I like it.