BJ's Blog

I don’t remember Jake’s room taking this much time to paint. Maybe he had more stuff? I know the red didn’t take 3 coats.

Anyway, here’s the time-line (just for my own record-keeping):

• June 25th, Saturday: clean out Maggie’s room
• Sunday: pull carpet
• Monday: wash walls & tap trim
• Tuesday: ***day of rest*** (2 work meetings, 1 softball game)
• Wednesday: paint primer and first coat of yellow (my shoulders/arms are so tired, I skip yoga)
• Thursday: paint second coat of yellow
• Friday: paint third coat of yellow
• July 2nd, Saturday: ***day of rest** (finish reading Sarah’s Key)
• Sunday: paint fourth–and final!!!–coat of yellow and remove tape (my hands are incredibly sore–tendon pain)
• Monday: paint first coat of trim
• Tuesday: paint second coat of trim & shop online for furniture (Ikea)
• Wednesday: clean project area (remove tape, replace outlet covers, etc.) & schedule carpet measurement
• Thursday: do other stuff (can’t remember what–probably watch soccer)
• Friday: guy comes to measure carpet
• July 9th, Saturday: ***day of rest*** (al-anon meeting, women’s soccer, SLC with kids)
• Sunday: another ***day of rest*** (women’s soccer–USA beats Brazil!!! + new “Miss Marple”)
• Monday: order carpet–at last! (a cold = no yoga, organize desk)
• Tuesday: (feel yucky, organize my new/old desk, move dressers)
• Wednesday: buy curtains (also, USA beats France to go to the finals)
• Thursday: (Salvation Army comes, deliver other stuff to Savers)
• Friday: shop at Ikea = bed, desk, chair, and bedside table for Maggie’s room; assemble chair (for Mags) and table
• July 16th, Saturday:

how did that happen? only 3 1/2 weeks until we leave for southern California, and after that trip things will happen fast: football begins the 1st of August, Torrey for the first weekend in August, then 2 retreats–both at Alta :)–the next week. then school opens. then classes begin. anyway, the progress on Maggie’s room continues…yesterday, applied primer and 1st coat of Marigold yellow. today did the second coat. unfortunately, it will need 3 coats 😦 good thing I didn’t plan an out-of-town trip this weekend! looks like I’ll be painting trim all weekend. but I’m enjoying the women’s world cup games and Wimbledon tennis matches–always something to do while I take a break from painting.

It actually began for me last Sunday, when we celebrated Father’s Day with a chilly BBQ outside, but the rest of the week was kind of crazy.

Monday, I waited for the plumber to replace a toilet (yay!) then I went to work for a lunch meeting with a candidate for the CIC assistant director position then a presentation. (Another candidate after the 4th.)

On Tuesday, I organized almost every single book in our house–went through the boxes Mom gave us, put books on the shelves donated by Mom and Dad, and got rid of 6 boxes. We took these to the Weber County Library on Wednesday. Tuesday evening, the McShanes and Gestelands came for Maggie’s softball game and dinner. We also moved the old couch out to the patio–makes a nice spot to enjoy morning coffee and the paper–and moved the blue couch from Mom and Dad into the living room.

On Wednesday, I finished a book (not the best), went to yoga, took the books to the library, and chaired the al-anon meeting.

Thursday, I took a long walk with the dogs, attended training on the new WSU Online system then went to Maggie’s softball game.

On Friday, I took Bubba to Laundromutt, took Henry for a hike up Taylor Canyon (lots and lots of water), picked up Bubba, took Jake to viola lesson, then we drove to SLC to retrieve Maggie’s oboe, visit with my folks, visit with family at the Relay for Life in Draper, and shop at Ikea.

Heavy sigh.

On Saturday, I hung out for the morning, baking banana bread. In the afternoon, Maggie and I tackled her room. By the end of the day, everything was sorted, packed, removed for the painting job. After that, we Skyped with Katy, Shelley, and the boys.

Today, after watching the Women’s World Cup (Germany vs. Canada = Germany won) and a short hike up Taylor, we pulled the carpet and I swept, vacuumed, removed stickers, etc. from the walls. We had a nice supper on the patio–warmer than last Sunday but not too hot–and now I’m enjoying a brief respite while the family plays catch outside. A new “Poirot” starts at 8 🙂

• an expectation is a premeditated resentment (CTC 153)
• use forgiveness to cut the strings of resentment (289)
• pray for those I resent; resentments mark the places where I see myself as a victim (352)

Last Friday, I traveled to Bountiful with spoons and napkins for the ice cream social, which would take place after the two featured speakers. The second speaker (the first was from AA, a woman, who told a powerful story of her return to AA and her children’s participation in Alateen) was a man from SLC, Dave B. As he approached the stage I mentioned to Debra that he looked familiar–like someone I worked with at Evans & Sutherland many years ago. Turns out it was him. What a small world! I chatted with him afterward, and he seemed to remember me. My first thought upon recognizing him was the memory that he used to bug the crap out of me. At our staff meetings, he would go on and on about whatever movie he’d seen recently. I was always impatient to cut through the chit chat and get to the point of the meeting. So I focused my anger and frustration on Dave and let it pervade everything about work. That night, while I listened to his story about his troubled childhood, co-dependent relationships, bout with cancer, divorce from his wife, declaration of bankruptcy, and eventual discovery of Al-Anon, I let all of that resentment go. When I talked to him, I knew he was the same guy, with all of the same behaviors and traits as before, but I realized that I didn’t have to hate him any more. What a relief. Now, how can I do this with all the other people in my life?

I’m just catching up on life in the last couple of weeks. Maggie and I flew to Portland on May 12th and stayed for 3 days. Our visit coincided with Shelley’s trip to Dallas to help her mother and sister, who was having surgery. Anyway, it was a fun but crazy weekend–as you’d expect 3 days with two 2 1/2 year olds to be.

We left Thursday evening, but our plane was delayed. So we enjoyed some beverages at the Salt Lake International Airport:

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Monday

1. registered for RMMLA (in Scottsdale) and booked a room at Chapparal Suites
2. practiced yoga at Borrowed Earth
3. took Maggie to guitar
4. watched 3 episodes of “The Tudors” (Season 2)

Tuesday

1. stayed home sick with Jake
2. watched “Sherlock Holmes”
3. rotated the tires–well the guys at Discount Tires did
4. shopped at Costco
5. watched 3 more episodes of “The Tudors” (Season 2)
6. watched a new “Glee” with Maggie

Wednesday

1. stayed home with Maggie, though I was feeling better
2. watched “The Pink Panther 2”
3. cleaned up dog poop and fed the birds
4. read the intro to a book about rhetoric and civic engagement
5. baked banana bread
6. walked the dogs
7. chaired an Al-Anon meeting

Thursday

1. read Forget Me Not and cried when Alex Lowe died
2. hiked with the dogs up Taylor Canyon
3. finished knitting Maggie’s socks
4. watched the final episode with Michael Scott on “The Office”

Friday

1. took Bubba to the Laundromutt
2. finished Forget Me Not
3. dusted & vacuumed the downstairs
4. washed the curtains downstairs
5. walked the dogs to meet Maggie after school
6. shopped at Costco
7. made soup for dinner

I did not

• paint Maggie’s room
• clean out the back room
• organize the books from Mom
• clean the garage
• rake the back beds
• deliver yard trimmings and leaves to the green dump
• help Mom and Dad with their organizing/packing
• spend a day in SLC

Guess I’m destined to be ill on my breaks. This thing started Sunday, for both of us, with fatigue. I thought mine was due to let-down–to finishing my grades the day before (Saturday) and realizing that I was truly done for the spring semester. Yesterday, I coasted and even went to a yoga class. But I felt weary and developed a sore throat and headache (Jake too). Today, we both have body aches, fatigue, headache, and fever. Sigh. At least I have a buddy to hang out with! We’re watching “Sherlock Holmes.”

Everyone,

We got a phone call today from a sweet couple who had taken Bubba home from the Super Savers on Harrison. He had wandered *into* the store on Monday afternoon. These folks took him home, called all the local vets, had him checked for a microchip at their vet, and contacted animal services. The chip showed a disconnected number in Price–Bubba was rescued from the Carbon County Animal Shelter in 2007–but not the Utah Friends of Basset Hounds chip, which must be in a different location on his body. However, Weber County Animal Services gave them our number. Meanwhile, Shelley Thomas stopped into Burch Creek Animal Hospital and asked if anyone had called about a missing basset. As she called my cell phone with this information, the couple who had Bubba called our home phone and left a message. Long story, but a happy ending.

Thank you for your help. Love makes the world go around.

Becky and all of the rest of the McShanes

The thing I’ve been dreading and starting to think might not happen after all. Maggie’s pulling away from me. She doesn’t want me to touch her beautiful hair, to kiss her sweet cheek, to grab her for a hug, to hold her close. It was bound to happen–I remember pulling away from my mom–but I thought maybe my Maggie-bear would remain my little snuggle bug. I’m having a hard time not crying today. I know it’s all part of growing up, all part of “life’s rich pageant,” as my Dad would say. I still don’t have to like it. I can still mourn the passing of a my little girl’s childhood and the end of my role as “Mommy.” God, who knew being a parent could wrench your guts like this?